Jeffrey Epstein and Eddie Shapiro provide a lavender look at Disney theme parks in the updated Queens in the Kingdom guidebook.

By Christopher Cappiello

A lot has changed in the wonderful world of Disney theme parks since Jeffrey Epstein and Eddie Shapiro wrote the popular 2003 Queens in the Kingdom: The Ultimate Gay and Lesbian Guide to the Disney Theme Parks. Parks are flourishing around the world, the cruise line is going full steam ahead, and many attractions within the existing parks have been revamped or replaced. It got to the point where the duo, who are the masterminds behind the Anaheim park's annual Gay Days, had to do an update.

“It wasn't up to us. It was really up to the parks,” Shapiro says during a recent conference call interview. “Every time something changed in the parks, or we'd go to the parks and see things were different, we'd look at each other and go, 'Godammit!' What was in the book was no longer reflective of what was in the parks. It just got to the breaking point; we couldn't take it any more!”

The new book, due out April 28, includes not only updates on the old parks, but also completely new chapters on the international parks and the cruise line. The writers have also included an interview with some of Disney's many gay “Imagineers,” Disney-speak for the inventive folks who design their attractions. The authors have also added more than 100 new “Fairy Facts,” helpful—or, in some cases, completely useless but oddly fascinating—tidbits of information about the attractions, the company or even old Walt himself. For example, about the quaint King Arthur Carousel at Anaheim's park, we learn, “The horses are rotated every few years. Just like Eddie's boyfriends.”

Throughout the book—and interview, for that matter—the two are constantly needling each other with that kind of slightly bitchy humor (although they are not a couple and, as Epstein emphasizes, “Eddie is very single and taking applications.”). As a result, Queens feel less like a formal guidebook than a conversation with a couple of gay friends who happen to have a frightening familiarity with all things Disney. And frightening it is. In addition to countless visits to the American parks, Epstein has been to Disneyland Tokyo twice and Shapiro has hit Disneyland Paris (formerly Euro Disney) three times. These guys know what they're talking about.

“People kind of look quizzically at us when we say that we wrote a gay and lesbian guide to Disney theme parks,” Shapiro shares. “They laugh and then they take a beat and then they go, 'Huh?' But when they pick up the book and read a page or two, then they totally get it. They get the bitchy sensibility, the fact that it really is for them and that it's not like any guide book they've ever seen before.”

The writers use a simple five-star rating system, with five stars garnering a given hotel or attraction “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” status. The description of each park also includes a handy “Ride Guide,” which helps you plan an efficient day and maximize the use of Fast Passes while knowing which attractions to hit in the Fast Pass down time. Each chapter also includes a list of Epstein's and Shapiro's top-five favorite attractions in the given park. Both writers pick Splash Mountain as their Anaheim favorite. “Cause we like to get wet,” Shapiro offers. “Speak for yourself,” Epstein injects. “I wear a poncho on the ride. I'm a little waterphobic. But I do love seeing Brer Bear's ass at every turn of that attraction. It's not just that you see his ass, it's that he's in these ridiculously provocative positions. He's assuming the position, if you will, in virtually every fantasy. He's got his legs up in the air, he's doggie style; it's a little distracting from a ride which is fantastic as it is!”

Among the book's many surprises is the fact that Disneyland Paris is the only Magic Kingdom that permits alcohol and smoking throughout. What surprised the authors the most when they were researching the new edition? “That we're still speaking to each other!” Shapiro says, before explaining more seriously, “The cruise line was actually a big surprise to us. When the first edition came out we hadn't gone on a cruise yet. When Disney actually saw the first edition of the book, the cruise line division actually contacted us and said, 'How come we're not in here?' And they encouraged us to come on a cruise. And Jeffrey and I were very reluctant. We just did a little three-day cruise because we thought, 'God, a Disney cruise with all of those kids, it's going to be horrible!' So we only signed up for three days, and pretty much the second hour into it we were kicking ourselves for not having done the seven-day cruise because we found the experience so fantastic.”

The annual Gay Day events are “unofficial,” meaning Disney is not involved in the planning or promotion. Did the entertainment giant cooperate with the authors on the book? “Absolutely,” Epstein says emphatically. “From the very first book, Disney was very, very involved because we're marketing to a segment of the population that they can't overtly market to.” Shapiro points out, “If you look at the back of the book, there's a picture of Jeffrey and I taken in a teacup. And that picture was taken at 7 a.m. in an empty theme park with nobody but a publicist, Jeffrey and I, and a photographer. That was a level of cooperation that we would not have initially expected.”

Just as the new updated edition is about to be published, Disney announced that it was changing its policy about official Fairy Tale Weddings at the Florida and California parks. Previously, couples needed a valid marriage license to conduct a Fairy Tale Wedding. “Last week Disney announced they're allowing gay couples to have commitment ceremonies, which was something they'd never done before,” Epstein says. “You had to dress it up like a bar mitzvah,” Shapiro adds.

“Eddie and I look forward to the next edition where we can do an entire chapter on Fairy Tale Weddings,” Epstein says. Shapiro concludes, “And if you want to mention that resumés are being accepted to date me, you can also mention that resumés and tax returns are being accepted if you want a Fairy Tale Wedding!”

Jeffrey Epstein and Eddie Shapiro will sign copies of Queens in the Kingdom on Tuesday, May 1, at 7:30 p.m. at A Different Light Bookstore, 8853 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood.